Went hiking the other day. I guess “hiking” is a stretch as we just walked down to the lake. My girlfriend calls it a “stroll” but I know damn well that’s just a euphemism for a shorter hike. Its like scooping up a piece of dog shit and calling it something nice-sounding, just because it wasn’t the full log in your hand. Call it what you want, its still a piece of shit you are holding. This particular lake is inhabited by multifarious duck-like creatures. I say duck-like because most of the ducks are not the typical looking ducks. The most prevalent ”ducks” are some mutant form of duck that almost look like small dogs with short white beaks. My girlfriend wonders what they’re called, I wonder how they taste. But the real attraction of this lake are the geese. As far as I can tell there are only a handful of them, but they always seem to make me feel like I’m surrounded. I’m pretty positive that geese are the douchebags of the avian kingdom. I’ve yet to find a goose that respects personal space. And they have the most annoying honking sound. I feel like yelling, “I’m right here bitch! No need to honk so loud!” but I don’t want to risk getting my ass kicked by a 4 foot bird in front of my girlfriend.