Went hiking the other day. My girlfriend said “See, aren’t you glad we went hiking? Its such a nice day.” No I wasn’t happy we were fucking hiking. I hate hiking. I can enjoy a nice day in my PJs on my porch, or from inside a bar. And what’s so nice about the day anyway? ”They sky is blue and the sun is warm” my girlfriend likes to say. Oh great, good job nature, your’e doing your fucking job. No one compliments me for eating and going to the bathroom. Its what you have to do! The sky has no choice but to be blue and the sun has no choice but to be warm. ‘Yay physics is working, lets celebrate.’ But, I have the ability to be more powerful than nature. I can create even nicer days using a tool handed down by the gods. Its called PHOTOSHOP. I can improve on the scenery:
That “nice day” that nature made isn’t so impressive now, is it? I can fill the sky with fucking suns, bitch. And, why not, lets add a mermaid.
Take that, nature! Your “nice day” now looks like a piece of shit compared to my work of art. The sky is now filled with 10 times the warmth and the sight of a beautiful fish woman to jerk off to every day.